Want a better sex life?

Garvey Harris Psychotherapist and Hypnotherapist Mindfulness Therapist, Teacher and Supervisor Want a better sex life?
Stress and Sex Stress is a fact of life. We are built biologically to survive stress. Short or long term stress, we can survive it by taking better care of ourselves. 5 Steps to a better wellbeing Connecting Connecting with your peers Learning Learn something new everyday Giving Give acts of kindness Active We need activity everyday Notice Be mindful, pay attention to the moment			Stress messing with your sex hormones For men to have a good erection they need the cells in the penis to relax to receive blood to pump up the penis. Then the sphincter traps the blood in the penis so that the penis stays erect until ejaculation is reached. When stress kicks in, the body goes into survival mode from the perceived danger. 7.5 billion people respond to the stages of stress in the same way. You are anxious on both a subconscious level which affects the body and anxious on the conscious level which affects the mind. So, if you are not relaxed, you can kiss a good sex life good bye. Baby making days are a struggle until you deal with the stress. Getting back in the saddle You need to lower the stress chemicals, like cortisol, that have been released to stimulate your nervous system. Over a short period of time stress is good, but over a long period of time. You will have so many symptoms of stress that you will feel overwhelmed and want to go for medical help?
STRESS RELATED FACTS AND STATISTICS The Stress in America survey results show that adults continue to report high levels of stress and many report that their stress has increased over the past year – American Psychological Association. 75% of adults reported experiencing moderate to high levels of stress in the past month and nearly half reported that their stress has increased in the past year – American Psychological Association. Approximately 1 out of 75 people may experience panic disorder – National Institutes of Mental Health. Stress is a top health concern for U.S. teens between 9th and 12th grade, psychologists say that if they don’t learn healthy ways to manage that stress now, it could have serious long-term health implications – American Psychological Association. 80% of workers feel stress on the job and nearly half say they need help in learning how to manage stress.  And 42% say their co-workers need such help – American Institute of Stress. Stress levels in the workplace are rising with 6  in 10 workers in major global economies experiencing increased workplace stress.  With China (86%) having the highest rise in workplace stress – The Regus Group Alarmingly 91% of adult Australians feel stress in at least one important area of their lives.  Almost 50% feel very stressed about one part of their life – Lifeline Australia. Australian employees are absent for an average of 3.2 working days each year through stress.  This workplace stress costs the Australian economy approximately $14.2 billion – Medibank An estimated 442,000 individuals in Britain, who worked in 2007/08 believed that they were experiencing work-related stress at a level that was making them ill – Labour Force Survey. Approximately 13.7 million working days are lost each year in the UK as a result of work-related illness at a cost of £28.3 billion per year – National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence. Depression is among the leading causes of disability worldwide – World Health Organization Fewer than 25% of those with depression world-wide have access to effective treatments – World Health Organization. Take part in our online survey Take the Stress Survey Take the 5 Ways to Wellbeing Survey Contact a therapist Garvey Harris can be contacted

Insomnia

Insomnia
What is insomnia? Insomnia can be caused by psychiatric and medical conditions, unhealthy sleep habits, specific substances, and/or certain biological factors.Insomnia Awareness Day facts and stats The Statistics Insomnia Statistics 20-40% of all adults have insomnia in the course of any year 1 out of 3 people have insomnia at some point in their lives Over 70 million Americans suffer from disorders of sleep and wakefulness Of those, 60% have a chronic disorder Sleep Apnea Statistics Over 18 million Americans suffer from sleep apnea An estimated 10 million Americans remain undiagnosed Over 50% of all apnea cases are diagnosed in people aged 40 and over More prevalent in men than women 4 to 9% of middle-aged men suffer from apnea 2 to 4% of middle-aged women suffer from apnea Narcolepsy Statistics Affects as many as 200,000 Americans Fewer than 50,000 are diagnosed 8 to 12% have a close relative with the disease Affects men slightly more than women 20 to 25% of people with narcolepsy have all four symptoms (excessive daytime sleepiness, sudden loss of muscle function, sleep paralysis, hallucinations) Restless Leg Syndrome Statistics Affects as many as 10% of Americans Can begin at an early age and worsens with age Pregnancy or hormonal changes can temporarily worsen this disorder Children & Sleep Statistics Over 2 million children suffer from sleep disorders Estimated that 30 to 40% of children to not sleep enough Children require an average of 9 to 10 hours of sleep each night Women & Sleep Statistics Women are twice as likely as men to have difficulty falling and staying asleep Pregnancy can worsen sleep patterns Menopause and hormone changes cause changes in sleep			Sleep How to sleep better tip 4: Be smart about what you eat and drink. Limit caffeine. You might be surprised to know that caffeine can cause sleep problems up to ten to twelve hours after drinking it! Avoid big meals at night. Avoid alcohol before bed. Avoid drinking too many liquids in the evening. Try to keep the following sleep practices on a consistent basis: Stick to a sleepschedule of the same bedtime and wake up time, even on the weekends. Practice a relaxing bedtime ritual. If you have trouble sleeping, avoid naps, especially in the afternoon. Exercise daily. Evaluate your room. Older Adult Statistics Over half of those over the age of 65 experience disturbed sleep Those over 65 make up about 13% of the US population, but consume over 30% of prescription drug and 40% of sleeping pills General Statistics Adults require an average of 8 to 8.5 hours of sleep each night Sleep problems add an estimated $15.9 billion to national health care costs 84 classifications of sleep disorders exist Breathing Meditations Every is different, and has different reasons for being angry. But a good place to start is with just focussing on the breath. Breathing Meditation -- A Guided Meditation focus on the sensations in your feet focus on the sensation of the breath bring your attention back when the mind wonders

Slow Down Aging

In 2004, scientists started to study telomeres, which are the tips of strands of DNA rather like the tips on the end of a shoelace. Telomeres stop DNA from fraying. When it frays, the cell stops being healthy: if it is a skin cell, it will cease to function properly and will appear aged. If the DNA frays in a brain cell, memory will lapse. The chromosomes in our cells are protected by these little tips. As our cells divide over time, because of ­damage, the telomeres get shorter and so become an accurate marker of ­biological ageing. The chief enemy of telomeres has been discovered to be stress, which explains why President Obama went grey after just a few months in office. (Daily Mail)
 

Bad Skin

We all know that too much stress is bad for our health. A 2012 study, for example, found that stress increases risk of depression, heart disease and infectious diseases, and increases inflammation throughout the body—which, by the way, increases skin aging, as well. When we’re stressed, we’re also less likely to eat right, get enough sleep, or stick with our exercise routines. That affects our overall health, but also our appearance. The skin fails to get the nutrients it needs to repair itself. You can tell by that inconvenient acne eruption or psoriasis flare up. It’s hard to escape stress completely, however, so the best approach is to take steps that will help your skin to resist the negative effects of stress. (Dr Frank Lipman)

Aging

Simply put, stress triggers many pathways that cause aging, and when all these come together, it results in premature aging. There is a genetic study confirming the effect of stress on aging. Research conducted at Brigham Women's Hospital in Boston was able to demonstrate a link between sustained severe stress and premature aging. More than 5,000 women aged 42 to 69 years old were questioned in a survey regarding their phobias and anxiety experiences, in addition to blood sampling. Telomeres, the protective caps on the ends of cell chromosomes, were the target of the analysis. Shortened telomeres basically mean that your cells will age faster. The study cohort was divided into groups according to their phobia status, and the results showed a difference in telomere lengths between women who were highly phobic and those who were not. It was shown that women who suffered from phobic anxiety had shorter telomeres. (The Daily Sabah)

Overcoming Obstacles to Treatment

People often succeed in relieving stress for the short term. However, they go back to their previous stressful thoughts and behaviors because of outside pressure, long-held beliefs, or old habits. The following are some obstacles to managing stress:

• The fight or flight urge: The very idea of relaxation can feel threatening, because it is perceived as letting down one's guard. For example, an over-demanding boss may put a subordinate into a psychological state of fighting-readiness, even though there is no safe opportunity for the subordinate to fight back or express anger. Stress builds up, but the worker has the illusion, even subconsciously, that the stress itself is providing safety or preparedness. For this reason, the employee does nothing to correct the condition.
• Many people are afraid of being perceived as selfish if they engage in stress-reducing activities that benefit only themselves. The truth is that self-sacrifice (in the form of not reducing one's stress) may be inappropriate and even damaging, if the person making the sacrifice is unhappy, angry, or physically unwell.
• Some people believe that certain emotional responses to stress, such as anger, are natural and unchangeable features of their personality. Research has shown, however, that with cognitive behavioral therapy, individuals can be taught to change their emotional reactions to stressful events.

Reducing stress and staying relaxed clears the mind so it can begin the appropriate actions to get rid of the stress-related conditions. (University of Maryland Medical Centre)

How to reduce the Aging Process

Vagusstuff is literally a tranquilizer that you can self-administer simply by taking a few deep breaths with long exhales. You can consciously tap the power of your vagus nerve to create inner-calm on demand. This knowledge alone should be enough to reduce the fear-of-fear-itself and give you grace under pressure next time you need it. (Psychologytoday)

Free Classes in Mindfulness

Join on Mondays, 12 – 2 p.m. at St Mungo’s Recovery College to learn more about manage stress to improve your life. Classes are run by Garvey Harris a Mindfulness teacher and an Integrative Hypno-Psychotherapist who alongside a team of professional therapists volunteer at Mindfulness Worldteach Mindfulness Meditation as a part of their Stress Reduction Courses. Please get in touch if you would like to know more.

Break Depression

Depression is very common - one in five people become depressed at some point in their lives. Anyone can get low, but someone is said to be suffering from depression when these feelings don’t go away quickly or become so bad they interfere with their everyday life. (Royal College of Psychiatrists) Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better. (Helpguide)

Different types of mental health problem

Every seven years a survey is done in England to measure the number of people who have different types of mental health problem each year.(The Health & Social Care Information Centre) It was last published in 2009 and reported these figures:

Depression - 2.6 in 100 people

Anxiety - 4.7 in 100 people

Mixed anxiety and depression - 9.7 in 100 people

Phobias - 2.6 in 100 people

OCD - 1.3 in 100 people

Panic disorder - 1.2 in 100 people

Post traumatic stress disorder - 3.0 in 100 people

Eating disorders  - 1.6 in 100 people

(MIND)

What does it feel like to be depressed?

The feeling of depression is deeper, longer and more unpleasant than the short episodes of unhappiness that everyone experiences occasionally.

You will notice:

• persistent sadness or low mood
• not being able to enjoy things
• losing interest in life
• finding it harder to make decisions
• not coping with things that used to be easy
• feeling exhausted
• feeling restless and agitated;
• loss of appetite and weight
• difficulties getting to sleep
• loss of sex drive
• thoughts of self-harm or suicide.

(Emotional Geography)

How can I help someone who is depressed?

• Listen to them, but try not to judge them.
• Don’t offer advice unless they ask for it, but if you can see the problem that is behind the depression, you could work with the person to find a solution.

• Spending time with them, listening over and over to their problems, and encouraging them to keep going with activities in their routine, is all helpful.

(Royal College of Psychiatrists)

10 tips for reaching out and building relationships

• Talk to one person about your feelings
• Help someone else by volunteering
• Have lunch or coffee with a friend
• Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly
• Accompany someone to the movies, a concert, or a small get-together
• Call or email an old friend
• Go for a walk with a workout buddy
• Schedule a weekly dinner date
• Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club
• Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach

(Helpguide)

Controlling the BRAIN

Basically when depressed we ruminate. Rumination refers to the tendency to repetitively think about the causes, situational factors, and consequences of one's negative emotional experience (Nolen-Hoeksema, 1991). (Psychologytoday) You are focussing your attention on ‘…continuously think about the various aspects of situations that are upsetting.’ (Psychologytoday)

We are reflecting on experiences, real or imaginary, that triggered our ‘Fight and Flight’ response to a situation we found uncomfortably threatening. The fight-or-flight response (also called the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response [in PTSD], hyperarousal, or the acute stress response) is a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack, or threat to survival.^[1] It was first described by Walter Bradford Cannon.^[a][2] His theory states that animals react to threats with a general discharge of the sympathetic nervous system, priming the animal for fighting or fleeing.^[3] More specifically, the adrenal medulla produces a hormonal cascade that results in the secretion of catecholamines, especially norepinephrine and epinephrine.^[4] The hormones estrogen, testosterone and cortisol, and the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin, also affect how organisms react to stress. (Wikipedia)

Break Depression

With meditation, do one of the following types of ‘Active or Passive’ meditations:

• Zazen
• Vipassana
• Mindfulness
• Loving-Kindness
• Mantra
• TM
• Yoga Meditation (any type)
• Self-Enquiry
• Taoist
• Qigong
• Guided Meditation
• Binaural Beats

Beditation

But if you are like me you will like the ‘Beditation’

Whilst laying in bed

• focus on your breathing
• breathing from the stomach
• follow your breath in
• follow your breath out
• when your mind wanders
• bring it back to the breath

Visualization

What about growing your own wisdom tree. A tree that possible changes every time you visit it? A tree that knows what wisdom you need in your life to make the necessary behavioural changes to be emotionally happy with your life?

Whilst laying in bed, standing, sitting, moving or travelling etc

• focus on your breathing
• breathing from the stomach
• follow your breath in
• follow your breath out
• when your mind wanders
• bring it back to the breath
• visualize a tree you have planted that is growing with you
• it knows what you need to make those changes in your life to improve your emotional wellbeing
• just notice the tree
• spend as much time with it as you want
• come back and visit the tree as many times as you wish

How to Create Inner Peace

Vagusstuff is literally a tranquilizer that you can self-administer simply by taking a few deep breaths with long exhales. You can consciously tap the power of your vagus nerve to create inner-calm on demand. This knowledge alone should be enough to reduce the fear-of-fear-itself and give you grace under pressure next time you need it. (Psychologytoday)

Free Classes in Mindfulness

Join on Mondays, 12 – 2 p.m. at St Mungo’s Recovery College to learn more about manage stress to improve your life. Classes are run by Garvey Harris a Mindfulness teacher and an Integrative Hypno-Psychotherapist who alongside a team of professional therapists volunteer at Mindfulness Worldteach Mindfulness Meditation as a part of their Stress Reduction Courses. Please get in touch if you would like to know more.

Stress and Weight Management

Is food a drug? by not being stressed you can manage your weight challenges a much better. Starting with an understanding and taking your time to find what works and doesn’t work is the best approach. But admitting to yourself that you are doing the best you can is a good place to start. Over the last 20 years or so there has been increasing recognition that drugs change the brain of addicts in complex and persistent ways, so persistent that they far outlast other changes associated with tolerance and withdrawal. (National Institute of Health)

Cravings and Incentive Sensitization Theory

One possible explanation for why people will experience cravings is provided by incentive sensitization theory. It is suggested that the reason for why these cravings occur is that the brain develops a strong associated between the addictive substance and reward. This occurs by way of four steps:

* If people are repeatedly exposed to an addictive substance they can develop hypersensitization. This means that in the future these addictive substances will cause a greater neurobehavioral response in the future.
* This hypersensitization leads to incentive salience. The individual develops a desire for the substance that goes beyond mere liking.
* This incentive salience insures that the individual will repeat the behavior in the future.
* This process that has been working in the unconscious mind develops into an outward craving for alcohol or drugs.

(alcoholrehab.com)

Mindfulness of Breathing

One of the simplest forms of this type of practice is mindfulness of breathing. This practice involves:

* Sit comfortably with the back straight. It is not necessary for the individual to sit in any special pose in order to reap the benefits of mindfulness practice.
* Take a couple of deep breaths just to relax the body.
* The meditator should now allow the breath to return to normal. They should not attempt to take control of their breath in any way.
* The next step is to just observe the breath. This can also mean observing any sensations that are caused by the breath.
* It is normal for the mind to wander away from the breath at times. There is no need to feel bad about this just bring the attention gently back to the breath.

(alcoholrehab.com)

Stress Affects Weight?

‘…what many people don’t realize is that stress is also caused by physiological challenges…’ (Chriskesser.com) such as:

• insomnia
• chronic infections
• inflammation
• autoimmune disease
• environmental toxins
• dieting
• too much exercise

Control Stress?

The first step to controlling stress is to know the symptoms of stress. But recognizing stress symptoms may be harder than you think. Most of us are so used to being stressed, we often don't know we are stressed until we are at the breaking point. (Webmd.com)

Emotional symptoms of stress include:

• Becoming easily agitated, frustrated, and moody
• Feeling overwhelmed, like you are losing control or need to take control
• Having difficulty relaxing and quieting your mind
• Feeling bad about yourself (low self-esteem), lonely, worthless, and depressed
• Avoiding others

(Webmd.com)

Physical symptoms of stress include:

• Low energy
• Headaches
• Upset stomach, including diarrhea, constipation, and nausea
• Aches, pains, and tense muscles
• Chest pain and rapid heartbeat
• Insomnia
• Frequent colds and infections
• Loss of sexual desire and/or ability
• Nervousness and shaking, ringing in the ear, cold or sweaty hands and feet
• Dry mouth and difficulty swallowing
• Clenched jaw and grinding teeth

(Webmd.com)

Cognitive symptoms of stress include:

• Constant worrying
• Racing thoughts
• Forgetfulness and disorganization
• Inability to focus
• Poor judgment
• Being pessimistic or seeing only the negative side

(Webmd.com)

Behavioral symptoms of stress include:

• Changes in appetite -- either not eating or eating too much
• Procrastinating and avoiding responsibilities
• Increased use of alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes
• Exhibiting more nervous behaviors, such as nail biting, fidgeting, and pacing

(Webmd.com)

 

Meditate NOT Medicate

In mammals, these responses include changes that increase the delivery of oxygen and glucose to the heart and the large skeletal muscles. The result is physiological support for adaptive behaviors such as “fight or flight.” Immune responses to stressful situations may be part of these adaptive responses because, in addition to the risk inherent in the situation (e.g., a predator), fighting and fleeing carries the risk of injury and subsequent entry of infectious agents into the bloodstream or skin. Any wound in the skin is likely to contain pathogens that could multiply and cause infection (Williams & Leaper, 1998). Stress-induced changes in the immune system that could accelerate wound repair and help prevent infections from taking hold would therefore be adaptive and selected along with other physiological changes that increased evolutionary fitness. (NCBI)

What is my Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve is one of 12 cranial nerves. It is the longest of the cranial nerves, extending from the brainstem to the abdomen by way of multiple organs including the heart, esophagus, and lungs. Also known as cranial nerve X, the vagus forms part of the involuntary nervous system and commands unconscious body procedures, such as keeping the heart rate constant and controlling food digestion. (Healthline)

What is my Vagus Tone

Healthy vagal tone is indicated by a slight increase of heart rate when you inhale, and a decrease of heart rate when you exhale. Deep diaphragmatic breathing—with a long, slow exhale—is key to stimulating the vagus nerve and slowing heart rate and blood pressure, especially in times of performance anxiety. A higher vagal tone index is linked to physical and psychological well-being. A low vagal tone index is linked to inflammation, negative moods, loneliness, and heart attacks. 

In 1921, a German physiologist named Otto Loewi discovered that stimulating the vagus nerve caused a reduction in heart rate by triggering the release of a substance  he coinedVagusstoff(German: “Vagus Substance”). The “vagus substance” was later identified as acetylcholine and became the first neurotransmitter identified by scientists.  

How to Create Inner Peace

Vagusstuff is literally a tranquilizer that you can self-administer simply by taking a few deep breaths with long exhales. You can consciously tap the power of your vagus nerve to create inner-calm on demand. This knowledge alone should be enough to reduce the fear-of-fear-itself and give you grace under pressure next time you need it. (Psychologytoday)

Vagusstuff is literally a traquilizer that you can self-administer simply by taking a few deep breaths with long exhales. You can consciously tap the power of your vagus nerve to create inner-calm on demand. This knowledge alone should be enough to reduce the fear-of-fear-itself and give you grace under pressure next time you need it. (Psychologytoday)

Free Classes in Mindfulness

Join on Mondays, 12 – 2 p.m. at St Mungo’s Recovery College to learn more about manage stress to improve your life. Classes are run by Garvey Harris a Mindfulness teacher and an Integrative Hypno-Psychotherapist who alongside a team of professional therapists volunteer at Mindfulness World teach Mindfulness Meditation as a part of their Stress Reduction Courses. Please get in touch if you would like to know more.